Parker Election Fallout

Well, well, well, folks of Douglas County, here we are, watching the once quaint, conservative jewel of Parker, Colorado, take a hard left turn into the land of Pride Fest and the home of the self-righteous Socialism. In a move that can only be described as a political coup, the Town of Parker has crowned Josh Rivero as the new Mayor. Yes, Joshua Rivero, the man who might as well have "Rubber Stamp" engraved on his forehead for all the independent thinking he'll be doing.

And let’s not forget the triumphant re-election of Town Council members Laura Hefta, Todd Hendricks, and John Diak. These folks have spent years perfecting their groupthink routine, a record-breaking 99.5% voting alignment. Impressive! It’s like they’re auditioning for a North Korean politburo. Of course, this election was a "golden opportunity" to change the course of Parker’s future, but how could we expect anything else with a decade-long influx of leftist imports via endless apartment complexes? Affordable housing, they called it. Translation: a Trojan horse to erode Parker’s conservative roots.

Now, with Rubber Stamp Rivero ascending to Mayor, his Town Council seat is up for grabs. Surely, one might think the fourth-place candidate, Mike Drennan, would be the logical choice. After all, that’s what respecting the voters looks like, right? Ha! Think again. This council doesn’t respect voters; they’re too busy sharpening their knives for backroom deals. Thanks to the council’s unanimous voting record, we can safely predict they’ve already pre-selected their next yes-man—or woman. Why bother with elections when you can handpick cronies behind closed doors?

So, here we are, watching Parker morph into something unrecognizable to its original settlers. The town that once prided itself on its rural charm and conservative values now seems poised to become another cookie-cutter, progressive pit stop, "Aurora Jr."

But hey, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Parker Town Council will surprise us all by choosing a path that respects its heritage and its people. But if history is any indication, we’re about to see more of the same old, same old, with a shiny new socialist twist. Keep your eyes peeled, Douglas County, because the show’s just getting started, and it looks like we’re all in the front row.