Jared Polis: The Plastic-Banning, Cost-Hiking, Clueless King of Colorado

If you ever needed more proof that Colorado Governor Jared Polis has the common sense of a broken wheel on a shopping cart, look no further than the latest disaster in the Colorado state legislature. The Colorado House just killed a bill that would have repealed HB25-1051—the idiotic law that bans plastic grocery bags and forces you to pay for paper ones. Because nothing screams “affordability” quite like charging people for something that used to be free!

So let’s get this straight. You go to the grocery store. You pick up your plastic-wrapped produce, your plastic-packaged meats, your plastic-sealed dairy products—all government-approved, of course. Then, after filling your cart with plastic-covered everything, you’re told you cannot carry it out in a plastic bag. Instead, you must use a paper bag mandated by the same geniuses who wrapped everything else in plastic to begin with. That’s like banning spoons but still serving soup.

Polis and his legislative minions tell us this is about “saving the environment.” Oh really? Like how California’s been “saving the environment” while simultaneously drowning in human feces and used needles? (Don’t worry, Colorado—you’re catching up!) But sure, let’s make life harder for working families by forcing them to buy overpriced, flimsy paper bags while every product inside them remains shrink-wrapped in plastic.

This whole “green” crusade is as stupid as the paper straw in a plastic sleeve—the defining symbol of leftist “logic.” And thankfully, Trump’s executive order reversed that nonsense at the federal level. But here in Colorado, we’re still stuck with Polis, the king of bad ideas.

And speaking of bad ideas, wasn’t it just last month that Polis stood in front of a microphone and declared he wanted to make Colorado “more affordable”? Hey, genius—here was a perfect chance to start! Nothing like showing how much you “care” about struggling families.

This is what happens when you put ideological zealots in charge. They don’t solve problems—they create them. They claim they’re saving the planet while making everyday life worse for actual human beings. And worst of all, they don’t even see the irony.

But hey, if you’re tired of this insanity, just remember: November 2026 is coming. And Colorado voters have a chance to tell the Democrats and all the other plastic-banning buffoons exactly where they can shove their overpriced paper bags.