Lessons Learned from the Trump Rally in Aurora, Colorado, Friday, October 11, 2024

Ah, the Trump rally at the Gaylord in Aurora, Colorado, was a quintessential gathering that will surely be etched into the minds of conservative fellowship and political enthusiasm. Here’s what I learned from this adrenaline-charged event, which was nothing short of a festive congregation of like-minded American First patriots.

First, go with great friends. Our Douglas County contingent, a supergroup of about 20, turned the experience from merely enjoyable to outright epic. There’s nothing quite like sharing the passion of a Trump rally with people who don’t just tolerate your politics but share them!

Staying at the host hotel, the Gaylord, isn’t just about splurging; it’s strategy. Parking? A breeze. Plus, you can hit the snooze button a few more times, not a non-trivial perk when you wake up at dawn to secure your spot in line by 5:30 AM. And trust me, being in the first two rows next to the stage doesn’t just "rock", it’s like being at the epicenter of a Trump political earthquake.

You’ll want to know the dance moves to "YMCA." Otherwise, you'll stick out like a sore thumb amidst a sea of well-choreographed patriots. And bring snacks, lots of them. Small, easy-to-carry snacks. The line for the restroom is a beast, and with all the excitement, dehydration is a real threat; moderate your fluid intake; you will thank me later!

Dress comfortably. This isn’t a formal dance; it’s a rally. Swap out that stuffy suit and tie for some prime Trump gear. A cool hat isn’t just a fashion statement; it’s practically a necessity.

Be vigilant for Trump supporter imposters, those pesky faux journalists. Nothing a quick chat with security can't fix. Farewell, fake news aficionados! And here’s a fun fact: the biggest boos of the day were for Kyle Clark and Governor Polis multiple times! I’m booing them as I type this….

The applause for Trump was only rivaled by our very own CD4 candidate, Lauren Boebert, who received a raucous and thunderous welcome. Trump's wit? Even more, cutting in person. And no, he doesn’t look orange, it is the deceptive TV cameras. Ever wonder why the Secret Service bans toasters at these events? Me too. It's best not to ask.

Lastly, brace yourself for the pandemonium when leaving. It's like being in the world's most conservative, excited traffic jam (more like Mad Max). If you end up stuck waiting for Trump’s motorcade, you’ll be thankful for those snacks (first-hand knowledge on this one).

So, there you have it. Trump rallies are not just an event but a survival game for the politically passionate. And in the sphere of conservative politics, the Aurora rally was a five-star performance by the man himself, Donald J. Trump! My one last takeaway is, “Build the Wall and Deport them ALL!” (thx, CLB).

Vote TRUMP on November 5!