The Final Act, Mike Lynch Bows Out of the Colorado State House Circus

Dear spectators welcome to the final act (almost) of the grandest political circus in the Colorado State House! Today marks day three of the “Mike Lynch No Confidence” extravaganza, and oh, what a show it’s been. Que up the drumroll, please, as we witness the star of our show, House Minority Leader Mike Lynch, take his final bow, resigning his leadership post. Let's break down the spectacle, shall we?

In a move as predictable as a clown car breakdown, Lynch announced his resignation, effective at the end of today. Will this be the grand finale? (remember, this guy is running for the CD4 seat) In a tear-jerking performance, Mike urges his fellow members to learn from his ”Lesson”, because clearly, it takes a public scandal for some to understand the dangers of drunk driving and honesty.

He didn't apologize for the ensuing chaos, nor for keeping his DUI under wraps. Instead, Lynch penned a letter filled with the kind of sentiment of the wordless wisdom of a mime. He's stepping down with a 'heavy heart,' but remains optimistic, and confident in the caucus's ability to soldier on without him. It's like watching the ringmaster leave the circus, only to realize the animals have been running the show all along.

But wait, there's more! Let's not forget the sideshow attractions. We've got caucus elections set for Thursday at 8 a.m., where the assistant minority leader, Rep. Rose Pugliese, is tipped to be the leading candidate. But wait, I’m hearing the man who can’t wait to vote with, and for Democrats, our own Anthony Hartsook CO044 believes this position is made just for him and may through that cowboy hat of his into the mix! Let’s hope Scott Bottoms steps up for the vacant position.

This whole circus started with Lynch's DUI arrest in September 2022, a fact he conveniently forgot (wink, wink, nod, nod) to share with his caucus. Fast forward to this week, and we've got caucus members playing a game of 'Should he stay, or should he go?' with Lynch's leadership role. The GOP caucus was deadlocked, with one member, Rep. Stephanie Luck, not voting because, well, she had just given birth. But don't worry, she was on the phone, ready to vote, only for the meeting to end abruptly. It's like juggling with one hand tied behind your back.

And then there's Reps. Scott Bottoms and Ken DeGraaf, called for another vote, only to be met with more resistance than a unicycle on a tightrope. Caucus chair Rep. Mary Bradfield tells Bottoms he can't dictate the terms of the meeting. Minority Whip Rep. Richard Holtorf steps in to mediate, and voilà, we have a meeting set for Thursday at 8 am.

So, as the curtain falls on this three-day spectacle, Lynch vows to work with the new leadership. It's a bittersweet ending, like watching the circus leave town, knowing it will inevitably set up its tent somewhere else.

Ladies and gentlemen, this may be the end of the Mike Lynch tale, but rest assured, the circus that is politics will go on. The performers may change, but the show? Well, it never really ends. Please send in the clean-up team that scoops up after the elephant show. Make sure they bring extra wheel barrels; they are going to need them after this three-day show.

Don't forget to pick up your ticket for the Thursday morning show!