Trump’s Tremendous Triumphs: A March Mastery Class

Well, folks, strap in and slap on some shades, because Donald J. Trump’s last 30 days as our 47th President have been a dazzling, conservative supernova. Colorado’s true grassroots warriors deserve the rundown on this March 2025 masterclass. The man’s been winning so hard, the libs need therapy dogs just to cope. Let’s slice it up:

Dismantling Education: Who Needs Pointy-Headed Elites Anyway?

Trump swung his executive-order pen like a battle axe, gutting the Department of Education faster than you can say “common core.” Local control’s back, baby. No more D.C. eggheads deciding what little Timmy learns in Douglas County. It’s chaos, sure, but it’s our chaos, and that’s the American way. Douglas County’s own commissioners, on March 25, are nodding along with their Home-Rule push. 

Tariff Tantrums: Trade Wars Are the Best Wars

“Liberation Day” is coming April 2, per Trump’s tariff tease. Foreign goods? Overrated. American workers? Priceless. Sure, your grocery bill might go up a little in the short-term, but that’s just the sweet pain of patriotism and buying American.

Rewriting History: A Nostalgic Nod to Simpler Times

In an effort to restore "truth and sanity" to American history, President Trump has taken it upon himself to revitalize cultural institutions and purge divisive ideologies. Because nothing says "freedom" like a government-mandated version of history that conveniently aligns with a singular perspective. ​

Deregulation Domination: Unleashing the Big Dogs

Trump’s slashing regs like the slasher Freddy Kruger, banks, crypto, energy, you name it. Environmentalists are sobbing, but investors? They’re popping champagne. Colorado’s energy boys will soon be all chanting, "drill baby drill."

Election Overhaul: Democracy, But Make It Exclusive

AP News on March 22 detailed Trump’s voter crackdown, citizenship proof, Election Day deadlines. Critics whine about “disenfranchisement,” but we call it “standards.” Voting’s not a participation trophy for snowflakes, and illegals.

Closing the Border: Crushing the Alien Invasion with Unmatched Vigor

In a masterstroke of border security brilliance, President Donald J. Trump has orchestrated a symphony of policies that have sent illegal crossings plummeting to historic lows. By deploying troops to the southern frontier, reinstating the "Remain in Mexico" policy, and fast-tracking the construction of the border wall, the administration has effectively transformed the once-porous border into an impenetrable fortress. The numbers speak volumes: a staggering 94% reduction in illegal crossings compared to the previous year. Clearly, the mere thought of facing actual consequences has deterred would-be border violators. Additionally, the administration's unwavering commitment to deporting violent criminals has ensured that murderers, child molesters, and drug dealers are promptly returned to their countries of origin, much to the chagrin of the criminal underworld. It's almost as if enforcing the law works, who would've thought?

The Wrap-Up: Trump’s March Madness

Thirty days of unadulterated Trumpian triumph. We are witnessing a golden age. The left’s melting down, and we’re just getting started. Cheers to that, patriots!