Welcome to the Republican Hunger Games The 2026 GOP Governor’s Race

Well, Colorado patriots… grab your popcorn. Yet another brave soul has jumped into the already overcrowded political mosh pit we call the Colorado Republican primary for governor. Say hello to Victor Marx, yes, that Victor Marx, the guy with business chops and the apparent appetite for political masochism, has tossed his hat into the ring. That makes it contestant number 19; can we make it 20? Apparently, there are 39 total candidates (last count 2 minutes ago) running for governor in 2026, including Democrats and others. It's like every ambitious conservative with a pulse and a printer decided to file paperwork just to see if they could outdo the Democrats in sheer volume of delusion. This isn’t a race; it’s a Costco sample line for egos.

Now, before we all get too giddy about the “diversity” of choices, let’s look at the one metric that actually matters early on: cash on hand. Because while political consultants love to say “it’s about ideas,” in Colorado, where the political landscape is as blue as the summer sky, it’s really about who can afford to stay in the game longer than two news cycles.

Follow the Money (Or Lack Thereof)

Let's cut through the fluff and focus on real money, because in politics, that's the true test of viability, isn't it? Recent filings (see chart below) show a few kinda standouts that scream, "I might actually survive the first debate without begging for gas money." Victor Marx, fresh off his entry a few days ago, is already poised to rake in serious cash, think seven-figure sums from donors who remember his track record in the private sector, not to mention his ties to conservative circles that could fund a small army. But then we look at the rest of the pack, and it's a parade of paupers. Some of these folks have cash that wouldn't cover a decent steak dinner at Del Frisco’s, let alone a statewide ad buy. Why are they still in? Ego? A misguided belief in fairy-tale upsets? Sure, we've all heard those inspiring stories of underdogs winning races on tiny budgets—remember that guy who rode a viral YouTube rant to victory for under $500? But this is Colorado, folks, where the left has turned our once-red strongholds into progressive playgrounds faster than you can say "legal weed." In a state overflowing with blue like the depths of Grand Lake, money isn't just helpful, it's oxygen. Without it, you're just gasping.

Victor Marx Enters the Arena

Marx’s entry is already stirring rumors that make Colorado politics resemble a middle school lunchroom. One particularly juicy piece of gossip is that he’s getting close to former failed candidate Heidi Ganahl and her Rocky Mountain Voice apparatus. I saw that in several chat rooms, but who knows, online politics is 90% smoke and mirrors, and the other 10% is outright lies (or is it 10% smoke and mirrors, and the other 90% is outright lies?) It's strange to see a fresh face like Marx paired with a washed-up, failed gubernatorial candidate who lost by 20 points. I haven't talked to the Marx myself (yet), but I plan to invite him to speak at Parker Conservatives after the new year. Then there’s the truly wild theory: Marx was brought in as a spoiler to hurt Scott Bottoms and help Barbara Kirkmeyer. Is that plausible? Not really. Is it impossible? Also, not really. This is Colorado Republican politics, we’ve seen alliances here twist faster than a pretzel at Oktoberfest.

Scanning this bloated field, I don't spot a single runaway favorite who could steamroll the primary and then body-slam the Democrats in November 26. Time will tell, as it always does in this wacky game.

Too Many Candidates, Too Few Contenders

Flipping back to those July 15 cash-on-hand numbers (because why not rub salt in the wound?), 80% of these Republicans should bow out now and spare themselves the public humiliation of a campaign that never lifts off. Picture it: door-knocking with a budget that maxes out at bumper stickers and grandma's cookie recipe. Good luck to you if you're sticking around, but let's not kid ourselves, alliances are already shifting like sand in the Great Sand Dunes. I've seen die-hard Bottoms backers flip to Marx overnight. It's chaos, pure and simple, and with this many egos in play, you can't hide your true colors for long.

Secretary of State: The Underrated Power Move

Here's a wild idea if you're a solid conservative polling in the single digits and staring down primary oblivion, why not pivot? Reevaluate, dust off your resume, and eye the Secretary of State race instead. We've got a mess of elections here that need cleaning up, think voter rolls bloated like a post-Thanksgiving turkey meal, and irregularities that make you question if we're running a democracy or a raffle. A good Republican in that office could wield more real influence than a governor handcuffed by a left-leaning legislature. Fixing the system from the inside might actually save us.

Petition, Caucus, or Troll Your Way In?

Finally, we need to talk about ballot access. Every candidate needs to answer one simple question: “How are you getting on the primary ballot?”

• Are you going to petition only, like the establishment dark-money darlings who prefer to slink onto the ballot without ever facing Republicans at caucus and assembly?

• Are you doing the hybrid, gathering signatures and going through assembly?

• Or are you actually going to face the caucus and assembly process head-on as a true warrior?

Let me be VERY clear, skipping the assembly is a form of political cowardice. It’s the choice of those who prefer to buy their way in rather than earn it. If you can’t stand before real Republican delegates and make your case, you don’t deserve to be on the ballot, and you certainly don’t deserve our vote. Period.

Colorado conservatives, buckle up. The next few months are going to be messy, dramatic, and wildly entertaining. And trust me, I’ll have plenty to write about.